Blog details

How do you know you've found the right therapist?

Being in psychotherapy can be a challenging and sometimes perplexing experience.  If one is going to share their most intimate thoughts and feelings,  and if they are going to place their welfare in someone else’s hands; they want to be certain that they found just the right person to help them.  But as anyone who has been in psychotherapy knows, the experience often has ups and downs, and having a pleasant experience isn’t always the same as having a productive one.  Often the benefits of psychotherapy are slow in coming, and often best appreciated in hindsight.

If you are in psychotherapy and wonder if you are seeing the right therapist, ask these questions:

• How well does this person listen to you?  Are they patient and focused on what you say, or are they too eager to jump in with insights or advice before fully understanding what you are sharing?  Do they interrupt sessions with telephone calls or other distractions?
• Is this person ever able to change course when appropriate?  Have they ever said that their impression of something from their work with you has changed, or do they rigidly stick to all their initial ideas?
• Do they jump to conclusions or can they remain comfortably curious or uncertain for a period of time?
• Do they seem empathic?  Do they seem to appreciate what an experience you choose to discuss with them was like specifically for you, and not just what that type of experience would be like for most people?
• Do they show an interest in growing professionally?  Do they mention or do you see evidence of conferences they have attended, study groups they participate in, professional books they have read, etc?
• How comfortable do they seem with criticism?  Do they respond in a constructive way if you point out that they misunderstood something or if you complain that you don’t feel you are making progress?
• How willing are they to explain their “game plan” to you, the type of therapy they feel you need and why, how the process works, how long it will take, etc?
• Are they considerate of your feelings and your needs?  Do they give you plenty of notice when they need to change or cancel an appointment?  Do they close the window if it is clear that the draft is making you cold?
• How direct are they with money issues?  Do they seem comfortable discussing their fees, payment expectations, etc.?
• Are they willing to make observations that might be unflattering to you or challenging in some way for a therapeutic purpose?
• Do you feel a personal connection, a “clilck” with the therapist?  Do you feel you’ve established a solid rapport built on trust and a certain chemistry that this person really “gets” you?  This intuitive sense is very important.

These are some of the more important questions to ask yourself  when trying to decide if the therapist you are seeing is the right one for you.

-Steve Field, M.D.

Posted by: AdminMarch 1st, 2015 Share